The desert. A place where no living thing can survive. The sands dance in the wind. The blazing sun burns a hole in the retinas of anyone nearby. A tiny tumbleweed flies in the mouth of our hero: Gun Man. “Pfft! Pfft! Nasty!” Gun Man yells, pulling the tumbleweed out of his mouth. “Man, I… Continue reading Gun Man
May 4, 1849 My Dearest Evelyn, The first time I ever saw you was inside a barn. Will you marry me? Chet Dear Diary, I just crumpled up that piece of paper. What a terrible proposal! Surely, she would say no if I asked her to marry me like that. My plan was… Continue reading I Just Want To Dance.
Uh, ok. A flower. This specimen belongs in a garden. It has something called “petals” which are little sprouting things that frame the core of the flower. Whatever that’s called. The center. For example, let’s look at something called a, “sunflower.” It has bright, vibrant yellow colored petals that scatter around the brown center of… Continue reading Describing Things to a Alien
The human species survived the apocalypse. Turns out, the Jews had it right. God really turned out to be a jealous God. God became sick and tired of all the worship of other “religions,” whether they be worship of non-Abrahamic religions, or food, or sex, or money. Also turns out though, that the Christians were… Continue reading A Story About God
The sky was growing dark and spotlights from below seemed to be searching for some reason. Ok, it was because a lion escaped from the circus. It was ok though because the lion tamer was a seasoned professional, completely capable of handling an unexpected situation during a show. “Oh my god! A lion escaped from… Continue reading A Lion Escaped 2
…And just like that, she whispered in my ear something so disgusting, so grotesque, something so pretentious, I could hardly contain my emotions. I leaned back in my chair, in this fancy auditorium in an opera house, and I said, “you talk to your mother with that mouth?” It was sacrilegious in this house of… Continue reading Janelle Tells a Secret